Thanks exotic
I was also extremely shy when I was younger. However, over the years I have opened up more. When I have hospital cliniclas, there are about 6 girls in the group and I have no problem asking our instructor questions; in fact, I am usually the one who asks quite a few. I also have no problem asking questions in class (not that I don't get a little bit nervous of sounding stupid). As a child I would practically hide because I didn't want the teacher to call on me. So in that sense I have changed some.

Other students have commented on my ability to go in and talk with patient's as if I had known them forever. Yet, I never see that about myself. I don't even think of those things, I just go do what I need to do, and of course I want the patient to at least think I know what I am doing lol... I believe it makes them feel like they are in safer hands.

The problem I am noticing in therapy is that I feel totally different, it involves talking about my feelings, emotions, about me. In school it's not about me, at the hospital its not about me, its about what I have to do but the focus is not me and I find that much easier.

It's as if I go back to being a child when sitting in the room with my T, constantly having to monitor what I say. Not saying certain things because I am afraid of her response, or frankly the adult me battling sounding completely rediculous for feeling a certain way.

I could try writing things down for her. Maybe that would help some.
I just find it so frustrating that I feel so different in session, I trust her, so I don't know what the big deal is...