Woke up in a funk today. I slept through my only class because I set my alarm wrong, and then the negative thoughts started flooding in -- I'm irresponsible, I'm disorganized, I'm incapable of doing the simplest things like setting an alarm. My friends and my profs probably think I'm just lazy. I don't get the course anyways so they're probably going to kick me out.

I need a breather. I tried going for a walk. I went to my favourite cafe and read for a little while. I tried writing about how I feel. I keep trying to breathe and remind myself that this is all the depression telling me lies, that I'm allowed to make mistakes, that this isn't the end of the world and that everything is going to be fine. But the lights are dimming and I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep. I want the world to go away. I want to be left alone but I also just want to be held and told that everything is going to work out.

I hate this. I hate being depressed. I hate it when it hits me like this. I like being happy. I like that I'm recovering. But when the depression takes back over it's like a veil has been drawn and I can't even see my own progress anymore.

I just want to go to sleep. I want this horrible day to end.