Reach, I know it doesn't always help but my sympathys are with you in your time of distress. I too am going through a very similar situation to yours. My wife has disassociative identity disorder and being married to her has been hell at times, but then we do have our good times too. Right now, we are on the verge of separating because of lack of passion. She would say that it's just me, but I believe it's not alive on both sides. Our situations aren't that different so I can relate to what you're going through. I feel like we are dying as well, and what hurts the most is looking into my kids' faces and seeing the saddest sad I have ever seen because mommy's gone and not home. Reach, I just want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles and I will pray for you tonight that peace will overcome you and comfort will fill your heart.