And I'm so suicidal. Y will no1 take me seriously?

I'm not in any immediate danger cuz I have some planning to do first, so don't worry about me.... I don't know how to start this convo so I'll just say that I need help and that this is very embarrassing. I don't wanna be thought of as an emo kid lookin for attention and I should stop here before I rant too much. Or maybe I'll keep going...

I turn 18 on Wednesday so a whole world of alcohol and army knives will be legally opened up to me and that will be very hard to resist. I've been tellin my bf for weeks that I've been depressed and he seems to think it's possible to snap out of it in a matter of minutes and that depression is a "pu55y excuse" for killing yourself. Now I feel guilty that I don't really have anythin to be depressed about which makes me more depressed for bein depressed over nothin. materially I have nearly everything I could ever want, I'm writing this on a friggin iPod touch, so y do I feel so bad. I just wanna die.