Bleh.

Held off for a week or so. What a mess - inadvertently went way too far. Ended up in A&E, went into shock, collapsed & spent the night on a ventilator.

5 days later and still weak, heart still going bonkers. Everything smells of blood "all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand". Lost about 4 pints, which is more than one is supposed to be able to lose.



So so stupid - have been at this long enough not to go too deep. How the hell did it happen?

On the positive side, the whole revolting affair has left me with an aversion to blood, pain, injury etc - so God willing I'll be safe now.

Think now would be a good time to get proper help.