Hi Dave P.,
I'm a woman who has been hurt by a cheating husband. You can read about my sad situation, just type in polygamist marriage. I admire your wifes decision to leave. I only wish I had the strength to do the same. No, I don't think you should be crucified but I wish you could understand the terrible mental pain that you put your wife through. You crushed one of the main pillars that hold a marriage together. For what?- Sex? I guess now you can see it wasn't worth it. There's a saying - once a cheater, always a cheater. That's why she hasn't come back to you.
It's commendable that you feel remorse. But if you ever want to have a stable relationship again ,you need to discover why you are the kind of person , who cheats.
If she never takes you back, then hopefully both of you can be civil for the kids sake. I realize that the words in this post sting but, sometimes the truth hurts.