AGH!!!!

I can feel the depression. It's just PUSHING on me. I can't move. I can't eat. I don't want to do anything. I napped for a bit and when I woke up I just wanted to cry because I didn't want to be CONSCIOUS. This morning I could feel it coming on and I tried everything that works -- I watched some sitcoms, I put away my work for a while and went for a walk. I wanted to do groceries but the grocery store was so crowded -- the entire town gets SO CROWDED on weekends and I hate being around all those people. It feels so claustrophobic and it's impossible to get anywhere and you have to wait in huge lines wherever you go. I couldn't be bothered to go into my favourite coffee place because I didn't want to stand in line, I didn't want to go in while it was busy because the chatter of all those people is so distracting and irritating. I was going to clean my room because it's a disaster, but I can't be bothered. I just want to go back to sleep but I don't want to turn off the light and lie here in the dark trapped with my thoughts. The aches and pains in my body are back and that makes me so sad because I haven't felt them in so long. I feel so useless and alone and I'm so scared of slipping back into the depression but right now I just can't seem to fight my way out.