I wish that I could get DBT therapy myself, but it's not going to work out. My T is eclectic/psychodynamic, and I appreciate that too, but I need more help with learning these skills that I don't have, and she seems to expect that I can learn them on my own.

The reality is that under pressure we are not likely to remember or be able to use DBT skills unless we have practiced them and gotten comfortable with them in non-stressful situations. When the pressure is on, you tend to do what you know and have always done. That's why practice is so important. For this to really work for you, it is necessary to look for chances to use the skills, even though you don't absolutely need them in that instance, or even make up situations for practice, practice in the mirror, just any chance you get. When you get comfortable with the skills and don't have to think through it to do it, then you will be able to rely on them even under pressure.

Give yourself credit for trying, practicing, learning something new, thinking about what you could have tried after the fact, rehearsing it for next time, or any other effort that you make. Nobody just reads the handout and can do it perfectly. We have to be nonjudgemental with ourselves and let ourselves learn, and encourage ourselves to just try.