thanks all for reading and commenting in such a caring way!

I know what triggered him... but it couldn't be prevented.

Yes, it's much harder to get through to him with distraction if he's already very upset... That's when his special interest is very useful to lead his mind to. But... yes... it better be good... something to really grab a hold of his attention. Other times you just have to "ride the wave"... trying to protect yourself and others... also to protect him. He can get very violent.

When I have to deal my son having an outburst - I ask the "worker" to go be with my daughter. If it's possible that is. Very often we all (all= 2 or 3 adults) need to help each other out calming him down. That's when I feel so bad my daughter having hear and see a lot. She loves her brother but she's also scared of him. I always sit down and talk to her afterwards... but sometimes I don't get a chance to do that until quite a while later.
Our daughter goes to a support family every other weekend to get a change of scenery and calmness around her.

Now we're doing another observation on our son. This time we're documenting his provoking moments toward; me and hubby, the "worker" and others... and also the self harming.

I just can't believe it took so long to find a psychologist who really "gets it". She's very good!... at least so far.
She's going to use this method as a guide:
ABA=

Quote:

"Applied Behavioral Analysis All behavior modification training programs are part of a larger field of therapy known as applied behavior analysis. Based on learning theories, applied behavior analysis seeks to improve social skills and minimize outbursts of unwanted behavior. Applied behavior analysis concentrates on teaching autistic children academic skills, social skills, and "adaptive living" skills. Adaptive living skills are day-to-day skills such as personal hygiene, motor skills, eating, and cooking. Applied behavior analysis also teaches work skills, time, and money concepts." http://www.autism-treatments.com/articles/treating-autism/behavior-modification.php

When it comes to creating a "safe place" for our son - we did that. Our son has a hard time being alone though and especially in these moments filled with distress. He seeks the comfort and safety in us... but in the wrong way... until he finally falls apart and we have to comfort him and take care of him.

We're all in this together and we all suffer due to his disorders... but our son is the one hurting the most living a life in a confusing world.

((((((((( all of you ))))))))))

/daynnight