Quote:
Originally Posted by tifferific
And being in treatment so many times they have told me to throw away my scales. Well, a lot of good that has done me. I finally get up the guts to go I get on the scale backwards. And whala! She tells me I'm not even close. And that I knew it. The thing is, I didn't. I really didn't. And I was really upset cuz now I don't know how bad it is. But that I failed. But my eating disorder says I'm fine.And I feel like I just got stomped on.
I left there so dissapointed, I couldn't make a food choice if my life depended on it. Where to now? Is this the last time I crash with my anorexia I feel fine? Am I really in big trouble? In worse denial than ever before?
|
Hi Tiffer,
If I don't turn around I'll never get to the next step.or sequence . And I wanna be able to do it fancey I do have to turn around in all kinds of ways.
Yes I can see what a prediament it would be to have thrown away your scale plus not knowing what your weight is because you get on backwards.
And Then bieng told you failed and that you knew.
kinda infering you didn't toss your scale , and infering your not trying.
coaches can be easy or tough. If they are tough and make you get up and try that move again and again and again.
THATS what makes you winner .
If they go easy . you sorta stay at the same level.
And if your paying 80.00 an hour weather its a private lesson or a therapy session. You get what you work for.
I don't like to face this reality either. And I disslike feeling I'm being judged or lazey or not trying.
The weight doesn't show up over night or week to week.
there are other choices you can make or things you can throw out besides the scale .
You may have to not "buy laxitives" any more .
You may have to give up long distance running or any over exertion. If those are your control methods.
And you have to then be willing to eat .
Then you will gain weight and have better lab results.
Its up to you to say yea or neigh.
I get stuck doing the work I need to be doing . The eating for me is already surrendered .
I have my physical health . Emotions I have to take to the cleaners all the time and be willing to get the everyday work to survive attended to.
its a first things first. For you right now its your heath thats on the line. It must come first. Just keep trying and don't beat yourself up .
I figure skate and I love it. I used to skate My figure.
Now I just want to learn a back ward swing rocker..
and I will cause I got the visualization skills and I'm not gonna give up till I get it.
Visualize yourself making it though a meal a day as a winner.
Patricia.