((((((((((((((((((brephi)))))))))))))))))))))))

You are not a worthless human being! That's the depression telling you lies. Don't underestimate how powerful this illness is for warping your vision of yourself, of others, of the future and of the position you're in now. It's powerful, and it's not your own flaws or weaknesses that are making you feel like this. You're ill, that's all, and if you had any say in the matter, you wouldn't be depressed in the first place, right? No one asks for this, it just happens.

I dunno if this will help, but I was talking to my counsellor the other day, and she did an imitation of me before the meds/therapy kicked in, when I was at my lowest point. I recognized the way I was down on myself, the way I didn't move, didn't make eye contact when I was speaking, the way I was unable to see anything in my future but more failures and the way none of my past successes seemed to have any value to me. When I was actually in that state, I took it all as just being ME, instead of the depression. Now that I can look back on it a little more clearly, I've realized where I end and the depression begins, and that we really are two distinct things. The depression doesn't define you as a person. It may have forced you out of a great job, it may have made things difficult for you right now, it may cause you to be unable to finish everything you start, but that was the depression, not you. The biggest thing is to forgive yourself for your past failures, because you are not weak, you are simply ill, and one day you're going to be well again and you'll be able to get your life back together. Be gentle with yourself. You are a wonderful, worthwhile person, and you go ahead and take all the time you need to heal.

Take care. I'm sending you lots of good vibes.