Brephi my dear, you are NOT worthless. You yourself said you worked your way from the bottom to the top of the ladder. That right there says you have it in you!! All of us here have different problems for different reasons in different times in our lives and we go through things that many people don't understand. That doesn't define us. It is part of us, but not all of us. It's a daily struggle in one way or another it seems, but you do have it in you!! The only people who never fail are the ones who never try!!