Nightdream, if he's a textbook abuser like it appears that he is, his threats of killing himself if you leave are just another way of manipulating you. They are most likely empty threats. Mine said if I left, his entire life would be meaningless because he gave up all of his dreams because of me, blah blah blah, you know the drill, right? Well, since our divorce four years ago, he's on his second "serious" relationship and on the surface would appear to be doing wonderfully, so don't go letting him guilt trip you into staying if you know that for your own well being you need to leave.

Come in here and vent all you need to. You're perfectly safe with us. (((((((((((((nightdream))))))))))))