Sigh....

I took "leave" to go back to a non-profit agency for counseling runaways/teen advocacy/homeless teens.....I used to volunteer there for 3/4 years when I much younger,

It's in a different location, the name has changed, the name of the section I used to volunteer there is nothing left by an adminstrative office, run by an abusive, "using" 75 yr old woman who has continued to volunteer from when I used to. (she's been a volunteer there for 27 years, she just turned 75...) I thought getting out (I'm also agoraphobic) and "going back home" would be uplifting for me....what an idiot!

other than another woman who now works w/ the new "counseling" section --- no one I have known is there. It's been almost 20 years ago....but the ppl who used to work there w/me, the rules were productive, the ppl there were the closest to "family" I ever knew...how could I be so stupid to think that "my family" would still be there "waiting for me" to come back?????YA GOTTA BE CRAZY!!

So I let this woman verbally "command" me what administrative that is ever known to complete w/totally unreaslistic deadlines; I allowed her to "use me" for 3 weeks doing massive amounts of work to meet the deadlines for what was going to be the first, official reunion of the original agency I worked for (I thought I'd get to see "my family" again... )NOT!!!!!!!

Since I had to do (create) ALL of the posters,graphics, data-bases, e-mails etc. (She has a computer-phobia) I knew everyone who was going to be there & there were 2 other ppl from "my era of service" still....I LET HER work me into a stress-induced "mini-stroke". I spent the "reunion dinner" on the ICU ward. However, I did reminesce in tears; I grieved for the "loss of my family." Today is Day 2 out of the hospital & she's demanding that I come in to work

I'm resigning...but the guilt is incredible...the other half of me is saying "stay the HELL away from there/her!!!) i cannot even enter this post in a short period of time b/c my entire left arm is still numb & my fingers are........

%#@&#!, like I mentioned in another fourum, "You can't go home again" I traded my ruby slippers for Army boots and then to nursing shoes & even those are so dirty they'd never pass for ruby slippers...........

Sorry folks, had to vent somewhere....thanks for listening!
w/ DAYZEE9.......aka Laura