I did charge him with rape, but the police were f*cking useless about it.. They put a slight restraining order on him whilst the case was being investigated, but he still precedes to try and rip me apart in college. GRRRR!! It was such an pbvious rape and he got away with it! HOW?!

Wouldn't it be obvious that it was rape, considering the DATE RAPE DRUG was involved?? It makes me sick. he makes me sick. I hate his guts and to be perfectly honest, i hope he rots in hell.. he went out straight after he'd been questioned and raped somebody else. WTF?? How could he not be in prison right now? HOW???!!!!

I don't understand.. It stressesme out too much.. Last night I couldn't sleep. I was so worried about a friend who'd SI'd and another whose best friend comitted suicide. Then I was worrying about how much college work I have yet to do.. My tutor won't let me leave.. She's suddenly jumped in at the deep end, trying to help me with it all. Heh. Took me telling her I had decided to leave, to do that. Great work she's doing. Not. It's only because she'll get questioned as to why I left and will get in the s**t for not helping me in the first place and for being a complete ****** to me. And it'll leave her in the lurch for a singer for the 3 guitarists, the drummer and the bassist, for the FMP gig. Sigh.

So, I'm giving it another week to see if I can catch up and so far, it's looking good. I've got 3 assignments done in 3 days. Crazy, I know.. But somehow I did it. I'm really, really ill, though.. Because of all the stress and worrying etc.. I've been in bed for most of the weekend I dragged myself and Charlene outside for an hour or two yesterday, though, to get some fresh air and soak up some sunshine too. It was so, so nice. The ari was really fresh, and I could smell the grass and.. Oh, it was so good just to be able to sit outside and appreciate the land itself I was talking to Charlene and we had a strange conversation about plants having emotions and stuff. LOL. I said that I wondered if the grass got upset and stuffs when people stood or sat on it, or when other blades of grass get torn out of the ground. Dear me, strange conversation, but it kept me going

i just can't stand being so ill.. I still do everything that I do everyday, even if I shouldn't be doing it.. I can't stop doing it, I feel useless if I just chill out every evening and stuff, I have to be doing something. I just get bored or frustrated. I hate being ill and I just hope that this will go away because it's really not helping my mood