I quit therapy today. Almost cried on the way home, but found out I just couldn't. I wanted to. I wanted to bawl my eyes out and scream and cry but I just couldn't do it...now that I don't have to go to therapy and worry about her seeing any cuts or scars, I'm free to go. I imagined it on the way home...how many, how deep, where, when. I know, it's sick and disgusting and if anyone ever told me the things I'm saying here I'd recommend them to years of therapy and pills. But that's my scared ignorance. I sabotaged my recovery by never allowing it a chance to happen. Now I can continue in my self destruction until there's nothing left to destruct.