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Mar 23, 2009, 03:10 PM
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 I've always had eating disorders.
Nothing is filling my appetite.
I get on the scale each. Morning. I tell myself what I must do.
For a bit I can do it... I even gave up all the correctal, binging, aneroxia. Didn't give up the crazy exercising though.
But have now. My legs feel like lead blocks and I hadn't even hit 15 minutes.
I what I need to do to maintance: (Finally) How to eat to get it, what to when to, when not to eat... then after 3 months at my maintance weight --------------
BUT HERE I AM AGAIN AGAIN: CLIMBING. Thought I stopped that several days back.
I'm over eating what I was over eathing - today.
Trying to tell myself it's just beans, or veggies, dip..... go ahead..... but just that one sugar drink and BOOB.
I'm sneaking toward the drawer to get the spoon. Not the little spoon. The big spoon.
Who am I sneaking against ---- ME!
AND OH MY, - let anyone tell me:
"...what's different. You're looking good. Different."
They say that and I'm running for the kitchen, after all 'I must look alright.
WHO DO I HATE. WHO AM I MAD AT - ME OF COURE. DO I KNOW WHY DOES ANY ONE - NO!
 I will be ending this thread and hopefully, because I NEED to (have been neeeding too) VENT in another thread.
P.S. Or just could thread someone where and make jokes likes everythings just fine!!!!!!!!!!!
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