Lithium is definitely a drug that you have to watch for toxicity levels. When I took it I felt like a zombie. Talk to your t about the suicidal feelings-it's very common to have those if you've been off&on meds for years. I've finally realized that I HAVE to take meds 100% of the time or I can't function properly-my behavior gets too bizarre. Too bad the Geodon didn't work out-I take 80mg a day&have felt increasingly better. Sounds like you had an allergic reaction to the Geodon. I understand the disappointment in finding a med that makes you feel better&then having to change it because of reactions&side effects that are intolerable. My bad drug reaction came from taking Depakote. I felt a lot better but it affected my vision&my ankles swelled up until the were wider than my foot! Good luck on getting your meds cleared up!