Thanks Silver,

I actually have an appointment to see my regular doc tomorrow. I'm asking for a Valium scrip. I usually get Ativan, but I need something that will stay in my system longer. Hopefully she will get me enough pills to last into July.

I just need to calm down on the inside.....I need to find my balance.

I don't handle stress well AT ALL nowadays....I fall apart inside....but nobody even knows because I continue to act normal. And I won't tell.....I will not tell......

As long as I make it through to July, I should be okay. All this happening right at my one-year anniversary for my suicide attempt. I don't feel like I can do it.

Oh, I just want to shut my eyes and wake up in July......with all the decisions and tensions and THOUGHTS behind me. I just can't do this thing called "life" anymore. I wonder if I'll ever get myself back again.

Sandy