((((((((((((((((((((Vanilla Bean))))))))))))))))))

I have had nothing but nightmares lately...I don't remember the dreams, but I wake up scared and knowing that I had a nightmare. Blech.

They have started since things have gotten really intense in therapy. It's not a matter of slowing down the therapy - any time we started dealing with this stuff in any way, it would throw me for a loop.

My T said yesterday that because I am working so hard not to think about this stuff during the day, it's coming out in my subconscious. It's a difficult balance....he doesn't want me to have my life ruined by focusing on this bad stuff, but on the other hand, working so hard to push it away isn't helping either.

He suggested that I let myself spend some time before bed focusing on what I am upset about, maybe journalling. And THEN let it go and do some meditation on having good dreams.

I haven't tried it yet, but it does make sense.

Hope you feel better VB...