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Old Mar 24, 2009, 11:08 AM
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madisgram madisgram is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2008
Location: Sunny East Coast Florida!
Posts: 6,873
hi friends at pc, i'm having a rough time of it with david right now and as a result my ptsd from physical and emotional abuse has been re-triggered and having bad depression, too. many of you have pm-ed me and, please excuse, but for right now this is the easiest way to respond to you all. i'm not ok but there is that inner spirit/strength still in me that still lives. too much to explain about all that has been going on with my loving attempt at caretaking. while dave is schiz, his abusive behavior towards me has been deliberate when he has been lucid. so i can't pardon his behavior. that has only made me more depressed. for me, it's not the bpd. it's depression caused by circumstances as well as the ptsd.
thank you all for caring so much that you took the time to pm me. i wish i could thank you each personally right now but emotionally i have had to force myself to even write this post. please know tho that i do appreciate each and every one of you and thank you for being my friend.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand