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Mar 24, 2009, 09:59 PM
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...but I never give up because I know it means I wouldn't have that much of a future.
School stress has been getting to me, especially today. Mostly because I lost not one, but two copies of an important packet for government class, and lost another one the previous day. These packets are about 10 pages thick so I have no idea how I could have lost them. All I did was put them with my binders, walk to piano lab, walk to graphic novel, go to study hall and by the time I was in study hall they vanished. If they dropped I would have noticed, I never went to anyplace besides these classes so it's not like they are in the abyss known as my locker. They just vanished. For no reason. I was so upset I was practically in tears! I actually left study hall to go to the other classrooms I had been to see if they fell on the floor but nope, they didn't. I just have no idea how I could have lost them, it's impossible.
and earlier in the day I was in American literature we are reading The Bluest Eye and we were talking about how they treat Pecola in school and stuff and I said I was treated that way to and the girl in front of me also happened to go to the same school I did and she says she doesn't remember it that way. It really bugged me, the only thing I told her was "you weren't there" because really, she wasn't. It was a big school, and I don't even remember even meeting her until 5th grade anyways.  It's not like she was at that bus stop, she wasn't on my bus, she wasn't in latchkey, she wasn't even in my classes, so how exactly would she even remember me at all?
There are several big projects due on thursday, and it just feels like there is never any time to do the things anyways. Failure seems to be at hand, and instead of helping me get done what will be due, all they ever seem to focus on is what work I already owe so all I do is just keep getting further behind. It's just so stressful. How the hell am I supposed to get by in the world when I can barely make it through highschool anyways?
My time in school isn't so bad. Jokes make the time go by easy, my friends are there too. But the moment I get home the only thing I want to do is curl up in a little ball and disapear. Not exactly easy to motovate myself to work on these big projects when depression gets ugly like this.
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