I'm sorry you are feeling unwell. This weather doesn't help.

I also have the idea that 'bipolar' is more acceptable (even trendy?!) than BPD. There has been quite a bit of coverage of bipolar in the media in recent years, with various notable celebrities 'coming out' about their illness. It's not something shameful, unlike BPD (or at least that's my feeling about it).

My T isn't interested in diagnoses. He only said about AvPD because I pressed him on "what is wrong with me?" but I think in his view diagnoses are limited - he is an analyst. Fitting people into neat boxes, categories doesn't tend to help. Of course it is human to want to identify ourselves with a certain group - but if the identity we come up with is something that makes us worse, then that isn't a help. Could it be in your case a situation of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Someone gives you a label and they expect certain behaviours and you feel angry and end up living up to that label all the more? I'm so frighteneed of my pdoc now that I'm sure he sees someone with far more pathology than my T does, and indeed than I really have. When I have my appointments with him, it feels like I am sitting with my dreaded mother opposite me! Maybe I will tell him this next time I see him, lol!

I've been in the Netherlands for a couple of years now - originally from the UK. It's been hard - it's difficult adjusting to a different culture. The people seem more direct. My T is quite 'distant' I suppose - he doesn't flood me with empathy or validation - but that's probably to do with the therapeutic approach he uses (and this suits me quite well). The pdoc, on the other hand, is overly warm and that stirs up the full force of my distrust - while he probably is just trying to be nice!

If nothing has really changed and you managed quite well for many years with whatever problem you do have (bipolar), then is it really necessary to view the problem differently than you have been doing? Besides, there is a difference between having bpd features and satisfying enough characteristics to earn a full-blown diagnosis. I think many people have features of this condition from time-to-time. Probably there is even some overlap between bpd and bipolar symptomology. I hope in time the condition will become better understood, better treatment plans will be available and that its image among professionals will change. That said, AvPD has a similarly bleak outlook, just doesn't seem to draw the same negative attention as BPD. Like you, I feel 'happier' being an AvPD than a BPD!

Onzi