I can't remember if I posted this before, but nontheless I wanted to speak about it.

For some reason I can't get past the akwardness of sex. This includes oral, intercourse, etc. It may be due to the fact that I am highly self concious of my body. The females that I discuss this with brag about how great heir sex life is while mine is barely existent.

I've only ever had intercourse one three occasions throughout the first two years of high school. All were "unplanned" and the guy was more of a "bang ya and leave" kinda person. I wanna blame raging hormones for those incidences because I'd only known the persons for two weeks - 2 months.

I used to think, "I bet everyone thinks I'm easy." And they did. I wasn't doing it to screw around with everyone. It was a 'caught in the moment/impulsive' kind of thing. I was very impulsive in those days but then logic took over and stopped fooling around all together.

Right now there's my current lover, who I've known for about seven or so years. We never made a commitment about staying together. We'd see each other between having a boyfriend or girlfried. Right now we don't really see each other as much because he's always really busy as well but when we do we kind of fool around. "Dry humping" or whatever you call it.
But recently we expirimented with oral. He's tried this a few times before which ended with me getting too embarrassed to do anything and stopping him. Then I tried and found him looking at me while I was doing it and I got embarrassed and ran off.

My psychologist says we should 'discuss' what we like and what we don't. But everytime she brings up the subject in therapy, my answer is muffled because I'm hiding my blushing face in a pillow.

I want to be comfortable with sex for future reference and everything but I dunno. Help?