Angel...
it's an itch with a capital B to do this

I was angry at myself and the situation I got myself into...
Hatred better describes it.
Many, many days I could manage 10 minutes at a time. Not 11, not 10.5 but a flat 10 minutes.
Then I'd weep when I thought of doing it again for 10 minutes.
I had to concentrate on those 10 minutes/talk with those who had been there/take the out-stretched hand of help.

Don't be sorry for being angry.

You are being much harder on yourself than anyone else possibly could...be as kind to yourself as you would be to one of us.
You Are Worth It.

Cap