Okay, so I've realized this is not something I can ignore.

Because it's not minor clutter.

Here are some examples of how things look in our home:

- the sink is full of dirty, crusty dishes that are beginning to smell
- the fridge is full of old, moldy food
- the bathrooms (we have 1.5) both have pee on the toilet seat, and one of them has evidence of, um, explosive diarrhea (sorry) as well. Pubes everywhere, dried toothpaste in the sink and on the counter and mirror. Sometimes I lift the toilet lid to find a number two floating there that someone forgot about. Hair clogs the sink and bathtub drains
- clothing (most of it dirty and therefore smelly), music equipment, books piled in the middle of the living room (leaving little room to walk)
- empty two-liter soda bottles littering the kitchen floor
- I can't remember the last time we ate dinner at the kitchen table since it is piled high with tons of junk (and this is where our mail gets tossed unless I retrieve it)
- every trashcan we have in the house is overflowing
- dirty dishes pop up in the couch cushions, under beds, you name it
- chip and candy bags litter the floor in pretty much every room of the house except for our bedroom, which we have to keep under lock and key because his boys were going in there and taking things
- one of the throws on the couch (which is broken, by the way, and has had cushions ripped off and stuffing pulled from it) looks like a giant hanky - it's crusted with boogers (this is his son's doing, I'm sure)

Those are just a few things.

Is this normal????

We are actually arguing about it, because I simply can't stand the mess. I hide out in our room because the rest of the house disgusts me. I refuse to clean up his messes and hoped that once I said so he would do it himself. He has only let it get worse. I see his complete unwillingness to meet me halfway as disregard for my feelings and comfort. I do not expect him to scrub the grout in the bathroom with a f***ing toothbrush - I just want our home to be clean and comfortable for everyone here. Is that too much to ask?

He claims that his business takes precedence over "everything else". He works from home most of the time. So today, when I asked him if he wanted to hold off on watching a movie until after he cleaned the kitchen (which he's been saying he's going to do for the past week) he yelled at me that I was being "completely asinine" because he couldn't clean the kitchen yet, he had to work on some proposal. The movie was just for background noise I guess. He tells me I don't understand how important this business thing is... it's so huge it is taking up "all of his time". Well, guess what? He has plenty of free time (I know, because I SEE it - until about a week and a half ago I was home all the time because I couldn't find a job). He plays video games with this time, while dirty dishes fester in the sink, poop floats in the hair-encrusted toilet and his son goes down the road to Disrespectful Loserville.

I am sick of living in squalor. I tried to see all the good in him but this is beginning to get in the way of everything.

And like I said... we can't afford a maid.

I'm so angry right now.

This is never going to change, is it?