hi to anybody reading this,
i know this is about depression, but i need some advice because i am clinically depressed.
i was very depressed two years ago. i went to school but deep down in my soul i wanted to disappear. i cried everyday and i lost hope about living the life i want which is being happy for who i am. i was in a very hopeless state and i was in a very dark, black hole full of misery and desperation.
Then, i met a guy in one of my classes in college. i got the hint that he was attracted to me but i didn't want to believe it because i really had a very low self-esteem. Then i started to like him. Because of this, i found hope that i can live again. his presence made me feel alive again. as my friend jokingly said, "he was the prince charming who came to rescue you riding in his white horse". and its true. he did save me from my sadness, but most of all, i had the enough motivation to look forward towards another day.
that was two years ago.
now i like this guy and he is the first guy i liked since i liked prince charming. i transfered to another school so i never got to see him again. I am afraid to tell this guy that i like him. my problem is that i am afraid being close to somebody. I have intimacy issues and i want to be able to give love as i am able to receive love. i don't want to let go of this opportunity but i am afraid of rejection. also, because i am depressed i might be liking him only because i am attracted to the fact that he might be my next prince charming. i dont know if this is the reason or not. the only sure thing i know is that i like him but i dont know how to deal with this feeling. please help me on how to handle this situation. i am starting to think that i will never be able to have a boyfriend or husband because i will not know how to love another person without being afraid in being close to somebody. i know i have to trust others but with my hopelessness, this situation is depressing me a lot.
thanks to anyone reading this.
from
sadnessrose