I spend a lot of time at home by myself lately. No one really wants to be around me; I make things uncomfrotable. The other day I passed my chemistry test and I wanted to tell my mom about it, cause I failed the first one. She didn't even care. She went to sleep. Its one thing to feel alone, but when your own mother doesn't even want to talk to you. I really don't know. I went to my room and I cut. It was the first time I've ever done anything like that. I've done it three times in the last two days. I really don't want to do it but yet I keep doing it. I really don't get it. It helps me feel that I'm not just a shadow on the wall and that people can see me cause I'm a person too. I bleed and feel pain just like they do. It makes the numbness go away. I understand why I do it, but why can't I stop?