here is something my sister did.....at the time I thought she was a nut but it worked ....about a week before her husbands 40th birthday she sent out invitations to all his friends and family members...she didn't put who the invitation was from but told them it was a BIG SURPRISE! she bought drinks ,snacks, cake ,ice cream and then left them on the table (while her husband was taking a shower)...then she left for awhile...about 2 o'clock there her husband was playing his wonderful video game and not caring what was going on around him...a knock at the door and people started rolling in .....He was so embarrised ...my sister then came home around 3 o'clock and acted like she knew nothing about the party...since then , he makes sure house is clean BEFORE he does anything else....might have been a mean thing to do but it woke him up......just thought I'd share that with you ....good luck! p.s my sister had been complaining of the mess for years so the friends and family finally got to see what she was talking about....the party didn't last long due to the mess and there was no place for them to sit ,we still talk about this ..things have changed so much...