So... I made my first post here a couple of days ago where I mentioned that I hadn't cut in more than 2 years, but the next day that changed. I don't know what happened, which is all the more frustrating because I know it won't start to get better until I start to understand what it's about.

I always feel like an outsider in my life. If I'm not cutting, I miss it and wonder who this pretender is who's just kept up a good streak in hiding her true self. Now that I am cutting again, I feel like I'm doing something bad and hurting people.

I'm so ashamed that I've fallen again.