Lauren,

I think that you will remember the things that are important to remember when the time is right. If it is too much for you right now, don't push it. You need support when you are working through these things. Are you getting therapy?

I think it is important to recognize that the traumatic events occurred, and that it was not something you could control at the time. Even though you can't change the past, you can change the future and can take control of your life.

Shutting down when the memories get to be too much to deal with is a defense, and different theoretical orientations are going to have different perspectives on whether or not it is healthy, but I think it is self-preservation and if it's important you will deal with it when the time is right.
Wendy

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>