some times after i have said ive done somthing good or had a good day - then the urges come back stronger than ever - part of me is scared of getting better and feeling good - because that part says it wont last - so why not just carry on with what i know works -

why not? because its not a good way to cope - it may have helped us survive before but we know better now - you know better now - you fell down - that's ok - it happened - dont beat yourself up about it - you are just... whats the word... oh yes - HUMAN

the things do now is STOP - remember that you managed two years - so you have done this - you can get through this an get past this moment in time - second by second if necessary - YOU CAN DO IT - I think my line at the bottom says it best