nightdream

Last night I did some net researching myself on this. I fit the disorder perfectly, however; I used to open up a LOT about what is going on with me but now I have stopped. The reasons don't really matter, except maybe they feed right into my 'rejection' issues. Now I have no outlet for my feelings. I do go for therapy but it's not often enough that I can cope with everything that happens in between visits. Example: I saw my t yesterday, discussed this along with other issues with her. But here it is the very next day, I haven't said anything about myself but yet I'm already triggered by 4 separate things within a few minutes of logging on here. MY INSIDES ARE SCREAMING!!!! Do you go through that and if so, how do you cope with it? I feel myself already starting to completely shutdown again. DAMN, I just did that and came out of it yesterday. Life is too bloody hard. I'm feeling light-headed and my head is spinning. I'm almost catatonic again. I'm withdrawing into myself and into my own little world again, feeling helpless to stop it. It's too strong to fight. I can actually feel it physically right now. I doubt I'll be posting after this msg.