I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I've been desperate enough to feel dead inside, but didn't want to die. I hope you aren't suicidal. I don't know you, but I'm sure you have people who love you. You have people here too, who will talk and listen if you need it. Just click on me if you want to talk, and I promise I won't blah blah you.
Like I said, I know how it feels, and I hope I can help if you want.