Hi Loser,

It is scary .

That your aware of what your doing and why is a big plus and sharing it.

I was overweight from age 5 through 14. dieting had started around age 14. Purging stared at age 16 .

I was teased in a very cruel manner by my peers.

"Patty fatty
two by four
couldn't get through the bathroom door

So she went on the floor
and licked it up and went some more ."

this was chanted at me over and over

i had an entire class room jeer and even threw spit wads at me. when the teacher was out.

I was rejected on a daily basis. through verbal taunts some physical . this was back in the 60's long before te word bullying in schools was taken seriously or even acknowedged.

i would come home and cry . I would miss school sometimes. I lived in constant fear.

I don't know whats in your past .

It sounds to me like you need help.

how old are you?

what are your resourses for help?

do you have anywhere you can turn to get help right now. in real life.

heres a link for OA overeaters anonymous on the web.

its the only free reasourse I'm aware of thats consitant.and covers all areas of eating disorders.

When I was there we all were.

its the first move I made in my recovery.

Patricia
https://www.oa.org/