I think your courage is wonderful. I have been reading the posts made in response to you since this thread opened...and i must say this kind of hits home on one of my issues.

I am terrified of my bio. father. We do not live in the same town anymore but i am only 20 min from him. Every time i go into his town i feel my nerves kick in. I stay away from places I know he would frequent and when i go food shopping i find myself circling the parking lot looking for his and my step-mothers car. I have often said to friends that if he walked around the corner in a store I would probably pee and pass out; I always say it with a chuckle. I believe that is my way of handling it...by trying to make a joke. I have yet to run into him and to be honest i pray that I never do. I wouldn't know what to say or do beyond trying not to have a coronary.

I hope that someday I will have the same strength as you. To do everything i can to over come this fear. I think the fact that you haven't turned down the change in schedule and that you are trying to deal with this head on proves to me that strength is out there. thank you for that