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Why wasn't i taken in when it all came out to talk to some one? It was all just sat down talked about once then swept under a rug.
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I have asked the same questions, many times. Like you, the best I can figure is, the adults did the best they can--AND, it wasn't good enough. Being able to hold both ideas in my heart has made it easier to cope. But it takes time to find a way to interpret things in a way that feels right to you.
I'm glad you're getting treatment for the trauma now.