I'm glad I was of some help to you!
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It's hard to feel so alone - without ANY family.
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I do understand what you are saying. I had felt that way as well, but I also realized that it wasn't that I didn't have any family, I just didn't have the family "I" wanted or needed.
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Now I'm having regret that I didn't do this years ago when I felt it was the right thing to do, but kept getting pulled back in by guilt and the need to be loved by my family.
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Oh, please don't ever regret that you tried to do the best you could do, even if it was against your gut instinct. It seems that very often, even if we "know" we need to back away, our heart overrides our head. We can't possibly make a healthy decision without getting both our hearts and heads to come together.
It's like when I knew for years that I should have divorced my husband, but I didn't. My heart kept saying, there is more to try, there is more to do, there is still a chance things could turn around. My head was sure I should beat feet.....but I couldn't because there was still hope. Once the hope was dashed completely, that is when the heart finally heard the head and agreed to the inevitable. But I don't feel guilty or kick myself for waiting so long. I learned so much from the experience.....and I think that is very important!
Good luck with everything Pom......even though we can't pick our families...at least we can pick our friends
sabby