That quote struck me as interesting for some reason. Maybe I'm completely off track and I know that "cutting" is more about self hatred but for me it is also about being perfect and doing things right. When I haven't been able to in the past, whether it be at work or in social situations I find myself wanting to cut purge. Those are my vices.

Sounds like you had a lot of changes happen at once and congrats!!! on everything that has happened but it also sounds like you went to some extremes. I'm not a therapist but maybe the urges took a back seat for a while and now they are "louder" than before due to the fact that they were never really gone.

I know this may sound like very cliche questions but have you ever seen a therapist or other professional for help with the cutting? Do you think that you could now? I'm sure you could bring your son with you if that is a problem leaving him alone. It might be helpful to get some outside support while you are dealing with all of this. I know you said your husband helped but maybe like many of us you need more than that. It's great that you have the support but at least for me there is more to it than that and my therapist has helped. She also told me that cutting may happen again so I should not beat myself up over it.

As far as you son thinking any less of you, he just needs to feel loved and secure. He needs to know that his needs are being met and that he is cared for. I also think that you have a huge opportunity right now if you decide to get some help. Cutting might feel good right now, it's a physical reaction but you also know from experience that it can get out of control and that could be dangerous.

Take care of yourself and keep us posted...