Thanks to both of you. Yes, when i was cutting 200 times a day i did see a therapist for a couple days but he let me go. He told me I needed more extreme help than he could give me and left it at that. Im not cutting anywhere near that amount but it does worry me that I might go back to that extreme. At the moment I dont have the time or the money for a therapist even though I could definitely take my son with me but if I did go to a therapist Id be concentrating more on him than getting better. I do use cutting for a multiude of things. Punishment, relief, self hatred and then when I do cut it relieves me however brings on more self hatred and more dissapointment and then i cut again and it comes full circle. Your right, I do need more than my husband can give, and more help than just me trying not to do it. Your also right about the urges always being there and taking a backseat. I try to just keep that on the backburner and not let it take control but it seems it doesnt want the backburner anymore. Thank you for the support. It means alot to me.
((((Misscharlotte))))
((((DoggyBonz))))