Ktgirl,

Thank you for caring enough to read the whole post. I agree with you that I should never have told my friend about my problems with my husband. I guess I assumed that she would support me regardless of how things turned out. I thought that if things improved with my marriage, that she'd be glad we managed to resolve things and stay together. It never occurred to me that if I told her about the bad things my husband did, that it would turn her against him permanently and that it would bother her enough to end our friendship over it.

I also think you are right that it constitutes a type of betrayal of my husband. I feel really bad about it now. But at the time, I felt like I needed someone to talk to about things. In our religion, counseling is not looked too highly upon, so I felt I should talk with somebody in my congregation too would help me view things in a spiritual way. However, I can see now that it was a mistake. I would have been much better off to talk confidentially with my therapist and not confide in my friend. I wish I could do it over again. Even though the things I told her about my husband were true, I feel really guilty for turning my friend against him. I also fear that someday the things I wrote about him will come back to haunt us later because even though she said she'd keep everything confidential, I know she has talked and/or shared what I wrote with other people who know us. And as far as I know, she still has everything I wrote.