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Elysium · Mar 30, 2009, 08:22 PM

First off....(((((Hugs))))) if you want them.

This sounds like a very difficult and scary thing for you and your BF to be going through right now. I am sorry you have to experience this.

I too have a part similar to this, however my others have found a way to keep him down and he is not allowed out. There are very strict rules around that!!

I don't know what I can say to help you, other than to offer support that you are not alone.

It is difficult, because even though we have these alters, we are all very aware that we need to be accountable for our actions. It sounds like you have a good understanding of this.

I don't know if this would be helpful for you, but is there a CODE word, or SAFE word that you and your BF can come up with that he can say if he is feeling threatened by this part, that maybe one of your other parts can work on taking responsibility for listening for? Then, if he says the word, that part can step in and buy you some time to calm that angry part, or allow you or your BF to remove yourselves from the situation for a while till things blow over. Just a thought. It would probably take some work.

Ask your T if they could help you work with your others to try and make this work.

Please hang in there. I can tell you are concerned and that is good. I would be more worried if you weren't concerned.

Remember, all these pieces are parts of you. They served a purpose to help you survive earlier in life...they did a good job. Now these parts need patience and re-training. This does not make you a bad person at all.

Please hang in there, and let us know how it's going for you.

P.S. Although it is easier said than done...hating this part of you is not going to make it any better. Someone elses inner hate is most likely what caused this piece of you to develope and continuing to hate it is only going to feed it. The only way to learn to work with this part is to LOVE it a little; to love yourself a lot. I know this can be a terribly difficult thing to do.