Thank ya'll for caring. I'll be back when i'm feeling better. Theres just to much of the past. Its stessing me out and placed me in the hole of hell. I'm gong the wrong path right now.Last night wasnt good, I was working on my exit. Going into chat here is a bad stressor for me, but i can' stop going. It's not what it was then. Nothing is, here or here. Tonite i spoke with my counsler she said letting go of some of this stress that i can let go of will help. She didnt tell me i should never come here. Just let some stress work free of me. I probably should be in th e hospital right now, but i fought her on that. I'm hardheaded, made promises and swore to alot of things. I might wake up tomoorrow and come here. I dont know. But only to the forums. I'm going to talk to a mod and see if theres somthing they can do about locking me out of chat, so i cant get in. See if can be done, if it will work and for how long. I'm just trying here