((((((((((((peaches))))))))))))))) I read the whole thing too!!! I want you to know that I always read your posts, you're one of my favorite posters since you have great depth and a lot to say.

I'm sorry your friend let you down, especially after your trusted her with your friendship and intimate thoughts. I was thinking that since the both of you are so involved in your church and you trust the elders to intervene in your marriage and state of mind, perhaps appealing to them to mediate in this case might be worth a try? Just an idea. When I feel helpless, my T always tries to emphasize that I have options. That I'm on the driver's seat. So in this situation, asking someone for help might help, even if it's just to get her to hand over your writings. I wouldn't want someone who can just cut me off like that to have my most inner thoughts, especially in writing.