i keep crying at nothing. well something but nothing important. songs, tv shows etc. thing is i don't know whether it's stress (exams soon), depression (have missed a night or two f lithum and amitrptyline), alochol (am tipsy now but wasn't when i cried at thins 5 times earlier today) r what. ifeel so old. i'm 28 but i always said i'd die by 25, i genuinely though tthat so 28 is like ancient. my faovuirte band were on tv tonight and god they looked os old. i've been thinjkiging about them loads this week (singer hanged himself 25 yrs ago this week, aged 23) and they were on tv and just looked like mutton dressed as lamb - does that mean that's what i am? i still go to clubs and get tipsy but am i old and past it? i feel it. i have exams soon and a presentation tomorrow on something i really don't get so that doesn't help - i was just really upset to see this band who i've loved for about 20 years and theyt looked old and that's really sad - theyt'[re my heroes they'[re meant to be fun and young and cool. not sad and old and out of tune. and now i'm crying for the 10th time today again about bloody nothing. it's pathetic. i'm not even depressed - at least i odn't feel it. the only real sad thing is that my bro is leaving in the morning for a 2.5 year bike (cycle not motorbke) ride round the americas and i thinki'll miss him more than i thought but that's no excuse fro crying at eastienders and my favourite band look ing old it's really annoing. hmm think it's bed time i have to fgive thies stuoid presentaion. hope i get some sleep - wine m,ay help if not i have some valium somewhere i can stake. i hope eaxm,s don't make me likst hies too,