Spotted Owl,

You're right. I DO beat myself up alot about things. I just wish I could have understood some of this in hindsight, y'know? Although even if I understood about the transference part of the relationship and her past history, I doubt I could have changed her response to me. I don't think she would have let me explain any of that to her, as she would not even let us meet together to discuss what had gone wrong.

Can you take a step back and see what lesson there is to learn from this situation?

I'll have to think on this. I'm sure there is much to learn from what happened. At the moment, what comes to mind is "Don't Look for a Mother Figure" in your friends.

I loved your suggestion about asking her to pray with me. There will be about 300 people in one big room though, and no opportunity to pray just between the two of us. However, the Bible service will contain portions where everyone bows their head to pray. Maybe just thinking about and knowing that we're both there for the same reason, to serve God, and are praying at the same time will help me to let go of some of the pain and help me feel like there is still some unity between us.