My sweet baby girl Sarah was stillborn in Sept 2003 but I still struggle everyday with what should have happened even tho I have a very full life and I have subsequent happy healthy twins that probably saved me physically. Emotionally Sarah is always missing from our family and I still bring her up often in conversation and try to make others remember that she really did live, was a person for a time even if she wasn't born.

I know I just feel so beaten down by life and other problems right now. I am not suicidal anymore, shortly after she died I was an got on meds to help but still on some days I have that fleeting thought of just wanted to be with her........It seems like it shouldn't be so raw after 5 1/2 years but it is still always right there under the surface........I haven't slept a good night without sleep meds since she died.