my brother is in prison for exactly the crime committed aginst me from the age of two. I know statistics say it prbly happend to him, I know he was doped up at the time I know I know I know.
I know he says that he wants to do better, I know he is getting schooling and passing with straight A's that he never dreamed he could I am proud yet I am hurt too.
Am I just selfish? I struggel day to day getting by trying to forget and yet he calls and says hay I'm on the deans list when I can't even hold down a job and it is a chore to just walk out my door and be social. My mother can do nothing but say how proud she is of him. I know she has alzhimers I know her mind is failing her and that hurts too. @#@#@%# !!!!!!!! She could never say she was proud of me and when I tried to tell her things that happend she could not believe it. Some times I'd rather be where my brother is she supports him. Yet I hurt in my heart because I saw how he was treated too growing up and I could do nothing but watch. I love him, I hate him I want to support him I don't want to support him . Oh God help!!!!!!! It is so confusing! I want to be there for him but some times it is so hard. I have needed to get this out.