I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 4, I obviously wasn't given an option of being medicated or not so from then on I was medicated. I hated being medicated, It made me feel like I was trapped. I wanted to get up and run around be something was holding my energy in but it was still there. I could feel it I just could use that energy. This made it impossible to sleep at night and if I did it was only for 4 or 5 hours a night. Then when I was 7 they diagnosed me with dyslexia. Pretty much all through elementary and middle school I was stuck in a room with maybe one other person and I was given random work and no help. I was told by many teachers that I would never graduate high school and I would never go to college. I basically taught myself everything I know. I graduated high school pretty much without opening a book all through high school. I really don’t know how I did it.
I am now in my second semester of college and just recently stopped taking ADHD medication. I got to the point where I was sick of what my medicine did to me. I was never happy and I never wanted to do anything. I had become obsessed with doing my homework and studying and I never talked to anyone because the medication made me so anxious.
After I stopped medicating I began to feel better but, now when I’m at school when I try to listen the information literally goes in one ear and right out the other. I can’t retain any information. My grades are very low. Last semester I had a 3.8 GPA and this semester I’m hardly passing my classes.
Has anyone had any similar experiences? I’m looking for ways to work on focusing without medication. How do I go about deciding if I want to be miserable and pass through college well or do I keep trying without medicating. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Thank you to those of you who actually read this rant. I am open to ANY suggestions.