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Elysium · Apr 02, 2009, 01:40 PM

Hi jen29~

This sounds like a very scary time for you. It can be very difficult when the dissociative experineces start to ramp up. I'm sorry you are experiencing this.

Regardless of whether you have DID or not, you are NOT crazy!! I personally know that when I go through my dissociative experiences I too feel like I am crazy, but that is all part of dissociation and it is not an accurate perception of who you are.

I would suggest to express all this to your T, if you haven't already and if you want to explore the possibility that you may have DID or DDNOS then maybe she can set you up with some diagnostic testing along with continued talk therapy.

So far, I(we) do understand what you are experiencing from what you have shared.

I can empathize with your career issues. I have been dx with Major Depression and PTSD and was just recently diagnosed with DID. I have been having issues just coping and dealing with the depression and anxiety around work and thought that if all of the sudden I was dx with a dissociative disorder that that would somehow make it worse. Truth is DID is only a label. It doesn't change what you have been experiencing just because you give it a name. So, if this is DID, then you have most likely been dealing with it for a long time and just haven't realized it.

Unfortunately there is some not so nice stigma against people with mental injuries, disorders, and illnesses out there, but you will not find that here in the forum. It's kind of a "one day at a time" type of thing out in society.

If you do have alters....from what I have learned about DID is that people don't begin to become aware of their alters until their system is capable of handling it and until there is a good trust/bond with a T. Believe it or not...this could be a good thing. It's better to learn about what has been going on inside of you so you can start to work with it than continue on in confusion.

I don't know if this has helped at all...but I hope it offers a little bit of support.

I(we) are all here for you. Keep us posted on your progress and feel free to ask any questions or voice your concerns/fears here. It is a safe place and there are a lot of wise people here that will help get you through!!